2009 ALREADY!!!

The time has just flown by. Hadley is going to be 5 months old in a matter of days and soon to follow we will have our very first nephew, thanks to Amy! I'm more excited about her having a boy than I ever thought I would be, now I feel like Hadley will have that brother figure to grow up with and we don't have to rush off and have another kid! I know that sounds harsh, but we really want to wait five years, so that we can fully enjoy every kid we end up having! It's tulip season again, tulips always hold a special place in my soul. They were the first flowers Ryan and I ever planted, our little tulip garden, that was soon eaten by carebear of course! I've decieded this year I'd like to get potted tulips, although Ryan did bring me a gorgous bouqet of 3 dozen tulips as part of my valintines! We took Hadley to the zoo on Saturday, he LOVES to people watch, doesn't care so much for the animals. I couldn't help but to feel bad for the poor animals, what it must be like to be stared down every day, in a way I hate zoos as much as I hate fur coats. Although the sweet animals like deers and whatnot I'm happy to see in a zoo and not on someone's wall. Tomorrow night is Bacholer night and like every Monday night we will have all our friends over to crowd about in the living room watching and laughing. Monday nights are one of my favorite nights!

I'm so in love

Motherhood has been more than I ever thought it would or could be. Sometimes I catch myself crying watching Hadley sleep, not because I'm sad but because I am so in love with this little man. I look at him and pick out parts that came from Ryan or myself, most of him resembles Ryan. My heart breaks a little everyday because he is another day older, another day closer to not being my baby anymore. However, watching him find his hands and grabbing hold of my shirt while he eats, or cooing in the bathtub amaze me. He can already hold his head up and kick off with his feet, now all he needs to do is put them together and he'll be able to crawl. He sleeps like Ryan does with one arm on his chest and the other above his head. He recognizes mommy's voice and comes to a freeze when daddy talks. He has amazing facial expressions, his eyebrows give away his feelings. He has a very definite way of expressing hunger by giving me bird kisses on my chin, I'm very possessive over mouth kisses nobody gets to do those but Mommy and Daddy, it our thing. I find myself doing things I always criticized others for doing, like letting him sleep in bed with us and sometimes holding him in the car. Christmas time is around the corner and buying gifts for your own child is amazing. While I know he won't remember this Christmas, his first Christmas, I want it to be amazing. I'm scouring the Internet and every store for the perfect stockings, Ryan and I never got stockings we just used the ones at our parent's home. Halloween has come and gone and I find myself packing away his Halloween outfits and the newborn clothes that he has already outgrown. It doesn't seem fair that he has to grow up so soon, that he can only be a baby for a few months before he will have to be weaned/"broken" from things that bring him comfort. Its hard to raise a baby to be a boy then a man, when all you want is for him to stay mommy's sweet angel baby forever.

Hadley Douglas Harris

On Thursday September 18th, we had just a regular check up appointment. At this appointment my ob was going to sweep my membranes, when we got there I had 4 consistent high blood pressure readings and of course protein in the urine again. So they sent us straight to the hospital to be checked in and induced. They were able to stabilize my blood pressure that night and started the pitocin at 7am Friday September 19th! There were 14 other women in labor that morning, and only nine delivery rooms, thank God we got there the night before and got a room!!! At 8:30am I went ahead and had my epidural, why put yourself through pain if you don't have to! I also wanted to be sure that I got the epidural and if I waited their may be a chance that he would be tied up with someone else and I would be sol! I took a nap around noon and woke up at 1:30pm feeling alot of pressure, the nurse came in and I was at a 9.5!!! She had me do some practice pushes and I crowned at that point so she ran to get my ob and at 2:08pm Hadley Douglas Harris was born!!! I woke up that morning scared to death of everything that was going to happen but honestly the epidural was NOTHING (and I'm terrified of needles), I did have a 2nd degree tear that I did not feel until 5 hours after he was born when I woke up in terrible pain but the nurse rushed in and gave me a shot of stadol and I was back out. The next time I woke up it was uncomfortable but not some terrible pain!Also, during every contraction I did have the "shakes" a side effect from the pitocin. I did loose alot of blood during delivery so I had to stay an extra night to be monitored and they had me on medicine (I can't remember what) for it to get my blood count back up and to avoid a blood transfusion. Breastfeeding is going AMAZING!!! It does hurt sometimes, but its also the most comforting feeling in the entire world!!! Our new little family is back home and everyone is doing so well and we are so excited!!!

I love cold mornings!!!

Nothing gets me out of bed faster as when I wake up burning up, as was the case this morning. So you can imagine my very happy surprise when I went outside to check on the dogs and it was the PERFECT TEMPERATURE!!! Since then it has been a pretty good morning! By the time Ryan had left for work I had already ironed his clothes, attended to the animals (we should live on a farm), cleaned up the yard and was ready to mow when Ryan put his foot down and demanded me back onto bed rest :( So here I am reading threw my nestie blogs and seeing all the people who have had their babies many of them with due dates AFTER mine, and trying not to get to jealous. My little brother, Patrick, is on leave this weekend and I'm hoping that Hadley will come before or during then so that he can see his very first nephew!!

I'm watching Secret Lives of Women, Phobias, and this one lady is afraid of drowning so she has to get drugged up to take a shower or bath! Ryan always makes fun of me because I HATE getting my face wet, not because I think I will drown, but because I feel like I may drown with the water going up nose. Ryan gets a kick out of watching me wash my face!

I've made two Halloween tutus one for my little sister and one for my niece. My little sister's is a bumblebee and Kenzie's is a ladybug. I have to pat myself on the back they are beyond cute!!! I'm going to try to make more, if I have enough time, to sell at Amy's.

The dogs are having a shit fit so I best go see what all the barking is about!!!


Maybe a baby will come today!!!

He's just about here!!!

We went to the doctor yesterday and I'm dialated to a one and 50% effaced. Which of course doesn't mean ANYTHING, but if he hasn't come by the 18th then they are going to strip my membranes and he will hopefully come next weekend!!!! SO EXCITING!!!

Very Drained

Ten more days until our little bundle of joy should get his butt out of my belly!!! There is a full moon on the 15th and it would be very nice if he came then!! I have tried ALL of the OWT for at home induction, excluding castor oil (I'm not going down that road!). I had been lucky and wasn't getting puffy looking but that horriable curse has now blessed me. I go back to the dr tomorrow and I'm praying for something, any kind of dilation would give me that little bit of hope to make the next two weeks easier!

He has the hicups and its bouncing my laptop!!


Ryan and I have been going crazy trying to find the PERFECT first halloween costume!! It's hard!!!

uggg!!!

It's late and I'm completely uncomfortable in my own body!!! Not to mention, I bought new sheets from Penny's the other day (500 thread count) that were soft until I washed them so now I'm laying on scratchy sheets with a snoring husband cuddled up to me which would usually be sweet but right now its just making me hot (sweaty hot not hot hot)! I just wish it were morning so that I could re wash these sheets and this time with vinegar to get rid of any trace of sizing chemicals that manufactures use during the packaging process. Until then I'll just keep watching Dan In Real Life and surf the web for the perfect diaper bag until I pass out!!!